THE gods coost out, as story gaes,
Some being friends, some being faes,
To men in a besieged city;
Thus some frae spite, and some frae pity,
Stood to their point with canker'd strictness,
And leftna ither in dogs likeness.
Juno ca'd Venus whore and bawd,
Venus ca'd Juno scauldin jad,
E'en cripple Vulcan blew the low,
Apollo ran to bend his bow,
Dis shook his fork, Pallas her shield,
Neptune his grape began to wield.
"What plague!" crys Jupiter. "Heh hoy!
Maun this town prove anither Troy?
What, will you ever be at odds,
Till mankind think us foolish gods?"
"HEY! Mistris Peace, make haste, appear."
But Madam was nae there to hear.
"Come, Hermes, wing thy heels and head,
And find her out with a' thy speed:
Trowth this is bonny wark indeed."
Hermes obeys, and staptna short,
But flys directly to the Court.
"For sure," thought he, "she will be found,
On that fair complimenting ground,
Where praises and embraces ran
Like current coin 'tween man and man."
But soon, alake! he was beguil'd,
And fand that courtiers only smil'd,
And with a formal flatt'ry treat ye,
That they mair sickerly might cheat ye:
Peace was na there, nor e'er could dwell
Where hidden envy makes a hell.
NIEST to the Ha', where Justice stands
With sword and ballance in her hands,
He flew. No that he thought to find her
Between th'accuser and defender;
But sure he thought to find the wench
Amang the fowk that fill the bench,
Sae muckle gravity and grace
Appear'd in ilka judge's face.
Even here he was deceiv'd again,
For ilka judge stack to his ain
Interpretation of the law,
And vex'd themsells with had and draw.
FRAE thence he flew straight to the Kirk.
In this he prov'd as daft a stirk
To look for Peace where never three
In ev'ry point cou'd e'er agree.
Ane his ain gate explain'd a text,
Quite contrair to his neibour next,
And teughly toolied day and night
To gar believers trow them right.
THEN sair he sigh'd, "Where can she be?—
Well thought,—the University,
Science is ain these maun agree."
There did he bend his strides right clever,
But is as far mistane as ever,
For here contention and ill nature
Had runkl'd ilka learned feature.
Ae party stood for ancient rules,
Anither ca'd the Ancients fools;
Here ane wad set his shanks aspar
And roose the man sang Troy war,
Anither ca's him Robin Kar.
"WELL, she's no here!" Away he flies
To seek her amangst families.
"Tout, what shou'd she do there I wonder?
Dwells she with matrimonial thunder,
Where mates, some greedy, some deep drinkers,
Contend with thriftless mates or jinkers?
This says, 'tis black; and that, wi' spite,
Stiffly maintains and threeps 'tis white."
WEARY'D at last, quoth he, "Let's see
How branches with their stocks agree."
But here he fand still his mistake.
Some parents cruel were, some weak;
While bairns ungratefu' did behave,
And wish'd their parents in the grave.
"HAS Jove then sent me amang thir fowk,"
Cry'd Hermes, "here to hunt the gowk?
Well, I have made a waly round,
To seek what is na to be found."
Just on the wing, towards a burn
A wee piece aff his looks did turn.
There Mistris Peace he chanc'd to see,
Sitting beneath a willow tree.
"And have I found ye at the last?"
He cry'd aloud, and held her fast.
"Here I reside," quoth she, and smil'd,
"With an auld hermit in this wild."
"Well, madam," said he, "I perceive
That ane may lang your presence crave
And miss ye still. But this seems plain,
To have ye ane maun be alane."
The gods coost oot, as story gaes,
Some bein freens, some bein faes,
Tae men in a besieged city;
Thus some frae spite, an some frae peety,
Stuid tae thair pynt wi cankered strickness,
An leftna ither in dugs' likness.
Juno cawed Venus hure an bawd,
Venus cawed Juno scauldin jawd,
E'en cripple Vulcan blew the low,
Apollo ran ti bend his bow,
Dis shook his fork, Pallas her shield,
Neptune his grawp began ti wield.
"What plague!" cries Jupiter. "Heh hoy!
Man this toon pruive anither Troy?
What, wull ye iver be at odds,
Till mankind think us fuil-lik gods?
HEY! Mistris Pace, mek heist, appear."
But Madam wes nae thare ti hear.
"Come, Hermes, wing thy heels an heid,
An find her oot wi aw thy speed:
Trowth this is bonnie wark indeed."
Hermes obeys, an staptna shoort,
But flees directly til the Coort.
"For shuir," thocht he, "shae wull be fund,
On that fair complimentin grund,
Whair praises an embraces ran
Like current coin 'tween man an man."
But suin, alake! he wes beguiled,
An fand that coortiers anely smiled,
An wi a furmal flatt'ry treat ye,
That thay mair seekerly micht cheat ye:
Pace wesna thare, nor e'er coud dwell
Whair hidden envy meks a hell.
Niest til the haw whair Justice stands
Wi swird an ballance in her hands,
He flew. No that he thocht ti find her
Atween th'accuser an definder;
But shuir he thocht ti find the wench
Amang the fowk that fill the bench,
Sae muckle gravitee an grace
Appeared in ilka juidge's face.
Even here he wes deceived again,
For ilka juidge stack til his ain
Interpretation o the law,
An vexed thaimsels wi had an draw.
Frae thyne he flew straucht til the kirk.
In this he pruived as daft a stirk
Ti leuk for Pace whair niver three
In ivry pynt coud e'er agree.
Ane his ain gett explained a teist,
Quite contrair til his neibour neist,
An teuchly toolied day an nicht
Ti gar believers trowe thaim richt.
Then sair he siched, "Where can shae be?
Weel thocht, the University,
Science is ain these man agree."
Thare did he bend his strides richt cliver,
But is as ferr mistaen as iver,
For here contention an ill naitur
Haed runkelt ilka lairned faitur.
Ae pairty stuid for ancient rules,
Anither cawed the Ancients fuils;
Here ane wad set his shanks aspar
An roose the man sang Tro-y war,
Anither caws him Robin Kar.
"Weel, shae's no here!" Away he flees
Ti seek her amangst faimilies.
Toot, what shoud shae dae thare Ah wunder?
Dwells shae wi matrimonial thunder,
Whair mates, some gredie, some deep drinkers,
Contend wi thriftless mates or jinkers?
This says, 'tis black; an that, wi spite,
Stiffly mentains an threeps 'tis white.
Wearied at last, quoth he, "Let's see
Hoo brainches wi thair stocks agree."
But here he fand still his mistaik.
Some paurents cruel war, some waik;
While bairns ungratefu did behave,
An wissed thair paurents in the grave.
"Haes Jeuve than sent me amang thir fowk,"
Cryd Hermes, "here ti hunt the gowk?
Weel, Ah have made a waly rund,
Ti seek what isna ti be fund."
Juist on the wing, towart a burn
A wee piece aff his leuks did turn.
Thare Mistris Pace he chanced ti see,
Sittin anaith a willae tree.
"An have Ah fund ye at the last?"
He cryd alood, an held her fast.
"Here I reside," quoth shae, an smiled,
"With ane auld hermit in this wild."
"Weel, madam," sayd he, "Ah perceive
That ane may lang yer presense creve
An miss ye still. But this seems plain,
Ti have ye ane man be alane."